Perfectionism is an expensive illusion

I spent a lot of my early years waiting…waiting to analyze my thoughts before I spoke up (and of course by the time I realized, I had overanalyze my thoughts, I had already convinced myself that it was no longer worthy of being heard). Waiting to be confident before I made a move, waiting to have it all figured out before I made a decision. I’m sure you get my drive…you get where I’m taking this right. I was waiting to be “perfect” before I did anything.

I was so consumed with the idea of being “perfect”. One saturday I went to a program a friend invited me to….and the speaker said something that woke me up! He said this…”some people think they are perfect…but the only reason they think that is because they have never stepped outside of their comfort zone…they have never made a decision because of fear of not being perfect, because of fear of failing.” This was me…I thought to myself. I was so afraid of failing, so afraid of others seeing my flaws; knowing that I am not “perfect.”

So I hid myself in the illusion of perfectionism. My idea was that, If I didn’t face my fears, put myself out there, challenge myself, than I will seem “perfect” in the eyes of people, then I can avoid failure right. If I didn’t make any decisions then I will have zero chance at failing. But the truth of the matter is this…we fail not because we attempted to do something, rather, we fail because we didn’t attempt to do something. I realized at that time in my life that perfectionism is an expensive illusion I can’t afford; it was sitting on my talents, my abilities, my growth and my learning.

I decided from that moment on, to start before I am confident, start before I am ready, start before I really knew how…I decided to simply just start!…start speaking among a crowd, start writing/sharing my thoughts. I decided not to be “perfect.” Needless to say…this simple decision has been the BEST thing I have ever done for myself.

The thing with knowing you’re not perfect is that it frees you from yourself, and it frees you from others expectations of you. Getting there is not the easiest thing…but it starts by accepting this truth; the truth that perfectionism is an expensive illusion…one that you absolutely cannot afford.

Dear young people…know this…you don’t have to have it all figured out before you make a move (in fact no body has it all figured out…or better yet, even knows completely what they are doing when they start). Remember that life is better lived when you allow yourself to discover.

Know that you don’t have to wait to feel confident before you start being confident…start by making the decision to be confident, to be seen, to put yourself out there, to share that idea you’ve been holding onto for so long; thinking it’s insignificant. Start that thing you’ve been wanting to start; either public speaking, singing, whatever it is….start! Start before you are ready because if you wait to be ready, to be “perfect”, then that day may never come.

So, dear young people, I dear you to put yourself out there a little bit more, I dare you to make the decision to try, I dare you to step outside your comfort zone, I dare you to start before you are ready. I dare you to not wait until you are “perfect” (whatever that is), I dare you to become your highest self!.


– xoxo